We spend so much energy pretending we don’t love the things we do. A habit. A person. A way of being Once we decide something is “not good for us,” we start performing disdain. We minimize, criticize, rationalize. We rehearse reasons. We posture indifference.

But resistance keeps us tethered. The more we push something away, the more of our attention it quietly claims. Because the way out isn’t hatred. It’s authenticity.

The moment we stop pretending, the tether loosens. And when it happens, it’s often instantaneous. Admire it. Acknowledge it. Love it. And grieve it.

I wanted to want to quit for so long: alcohol, cigarettes, an ex whose pull I couldn’t shake. I circled the inevitable, letting go endlessly.

But the real break didn’t come from more willpower or better reasons. It came from finally telling the truth: I loved these things. Deeply. They shaped me. But they were no longer for the life I was choosing. Sometimes that which we love can’t come with us where we are going.

Make no mistake: I had to let myself linger in wanting to let go for a very long time before I was ready to actually do it. But the moment I chose to stay with myself and with what was true, everything shifted.

The change wasn’t dramatic. It was quiet. A soft internal click. But it was most certainly sudden and undeniable. One moment, I was orbiting. The next, I wasn’t.

The real turning point doesn’t come from fighting harder. It comes when you finally stop pretending . When you look at what you are attached to straight in the eye and say, “Yes, I love this. Yes, I get something from this. And yes, it’s not right for me anymore.” When we stop pretending and finally honor what is, something shifts.

This is how the tether loosens. Not through shaming ourselves, not through ignoring our longing, not through sheer will, but through the simple act of telling the truth.